NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
