I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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