Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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