i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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