wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
