Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Still dying that you shit outside
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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