even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
