Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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