Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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