My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
