U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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