sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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