how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
