My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
