I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
