As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
