just come out here and I will go home with you...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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