I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
