what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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