3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just had sex on a roof
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
