third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
