I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
