I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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