You're my little dorito
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
