Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
