Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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