Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
