Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
