just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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