Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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