just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
