i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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