Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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