just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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