Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
