im six kinds of drunk right now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
