worst night to have a conscience
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
