It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
