we're chasing vodka with high fives
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
