Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
