Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
