I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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