im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
