it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
