So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
