Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
