I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
wow bdsm is so cute
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