all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
