dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
