i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
