Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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