At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
