Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
