There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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