I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
