Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
